Webster defines emotional trauma as "an emotional shock causing lasting and substantial damage to a person’s psychological development." A familiar saying suggests "out of sight, out of mind." One of the problems with emotional wounds and psychological development in children is the fact that these areas are not as visible as the physical wounds and physical development of children. The visible physical wounds usually get immediate attention while emotional wounds often go unnoticed or ignored. 

    There is very little difference between the trauma experienced by adults and that experienced by children. 

    However, the adult has a better coping mechanism than that of the child. This does not mean that all adults cope well with trauma, but they usually utilize the ability to describe the feelings that they are experiencing thus processing their trauma. 

    On the other hand, a child who experiences that same shock, cannot always describe his feelings. His vocabulary may be insufficient to tell people what is happening to his emotions even if he were able to understand them. This can cause the child to act out in strange, seemingly uncontrollable mannerisms. Allow me to illustrate this thought. A tragic auto accident that causes emotional trauma to an adult would be noticeable to all concerned when the adult begins to express his fears. "I can’t drive by that intersection without beginning to feel panic." This could be a common and understandable expression of fear that the adult links with his experience of the past. 

    A child whose learning level is in the concrete stage may not make the connection between emotional feelings and concrete images. It may be that the scene of the accident did not present itself in a logical retainable fashion during the chaos of the accident. However, a trigger brings back the feelings of the trauma and the child cannot explain what he does not understand. This child will likely be unable to put his feelings into words and he may simply act out his emotions (crying, screaming for no apparent reason, or he may even throw himself to the ground). 

    One day I was sitting on our yellow church bus watching my wife as she was walking our two-year-old sonto the bus. As they approached the bus, I noticed my son begin to carry on and cry. He did not want to get on that bus. I suddenly realized that we had recently passed the scene of a bus accident where a yellow school bus had been burned. My son was with us and listened while we expressed our concern for what might have happened to the people on the bus. The feelings of fear that we had planted in his mind were taking over in this situation and all he could do was cry and carry on to demonstrate his emotions.

    Fortunately, I was able to link a past experience with a present happening. However, in many cases the adults may have no idea what has happened to a child in his past and cannot understand why he is acting this way. What makes this worse is the fact that this kind of behavior is often punished and the child experiences more trauma because of the punishment.

    If the child expresses a violent reaction, it is likely that the adult will use violence to punish. The concept that a child who throws himself to the ground needs to be spanked would likely bring out an even more violent reaction from the child. This would be trauma upon trauma.

    Going back to the definition of trauma with which we began these thoughts, we need to focus on the damage that is done to the child’s psychological development. Noting that each child’s personality develops in stages, it might be good to try to link a traumatic experience with one of these stages of development. A child will learn whether or not he can trust at a very early age. However, if that trust is broken at a later stage, the child will find it necessary to go through that learning experience again. 

    Suppose that a child learns that his mother is there for him every time he cries for help (from the diaper to the bottle). This child will learn to trust that someone will be there for him.

    Divorce can be traumatic to a child if the one that he has learned to trust is suddenly taken out of his life. The trust has been broken and the child who cannot express his feelings in words will likely act out. If the broken trust makes him angry, he may lash out in anger at situations or people who do not do what he wants them to do. 

    He may feel that he needs to control the things and people around him in order to feel secure again. If the people do not let him control them, he may become angry at them and express his feelings in forms of rage. Asking a child why he acts this way is of little or no value. He is still in the concrete stage of development and this means that he cannot always explain his actions. If he can’t link his feelings with a previous happening in a logical manner, he cannot understand them.

    Consider the possibility that the trauma comes from an abuse. Likely the abuser is a person that the child trusted. Now we must deal with the trauma that comes from the abuse as well as the trauma that comes from broken trust. Such a scenario would become even more complicated if the trauma happened some time ago and an adult in a different setting does not know about this past experience.

    Suppose a father uses a big black belt with a golden buckle to severely beat his child. The child walks into a room where there is a man wearing a big black belt with a golden buckle and the child loses control of his emotions. No one seems to know what is wrong with this child. The very suggestion that there is something wrong with this child indicates that the adults fail to understand what the child is going through. 

    Trauma is something that needs to be processed if it is to be managed by the victim. The shock that is simply buried in one’s memory and never defused by debriefing and discovering emotional resolution will likely show up again at a later date under different, but similar circumstances (the similarity being the trigger that causes flashbacks). When the flashback occurs, the emotional feelings of the first traumatic episode are now relived. This is what makes the debriefing very difficult for both child and adult.and adult.

    The debriefing process requires that the person experiencing the trauma relive the experience by telling the details to another person. This needs to be coordinated by a professional because of the fact that the person will likely experience the same panic feelings that came with the original traumatic experience. A problem may arise if the panic feelings become overwhelming and a traumatic shut down or hysterical episode develops. It is for this reason that the person experiencing the trauma must not be forced to share beyond his comfort zone. The repeated sharing from time to time may expand the comfort zone until the whole story is shared.

    The goal of this debriefing is to help the person process their feelings as he revisits his experience. The processing might include reassurance that this experience won’t happen again. A child of divorce for instance might be encouraged to rebuild his ability to trust by making certain that there is always someone there to help him when he needs help. Never make promises to this child that you cannot keep. Appointments must be kept.

    In cases of abuse, the child needs to be provided with a safe environment where these traumatic experiences may be processed without fear of repeat. This does not mean that the child will automatically feel safe. The fact that everything has changed in his environment will likely make it necessary for the child to become comfortable with the new environment before he can feel safe. A familiar, but safe, environment can have an affect on the child’s ability to share.

© Copyright 2004
Rev. David C. Hammerle

New Day, Inc.
1212 13th Ave.
Altoona, PA 16601
Phone: 814-949-9210